


Voltron *Jazzhands*

by echoinspxce



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), F/M, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Group chat, How Do I Tag, M/M, Memes, Texting, klance, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13107432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoinspxce/pseuds/echoinspxce
Summary: Pidge figures out how to restart the old communication devices in the lions.Let's just say it isn't going to be used for serious business.





	1. The Awakening

G_LION restarted PALADIN CHANNEL

Units Activated: MAIN_CONTROL, SECONDARY_CONTROL, BU_LION, BA_LION, R_LION, Y_LION

BU_LION logged on

BU_LION: ok y did this phone like thing pop out of my dashboard like quiznacking pop goes the weasel

G_LION: ive done some digging

BU_LION: who r u

G_LION: ur worst nightmare

BU_LION: hi pidge

G_LION: yo lancey lance

G_LION: anyways ive done sdome super cool haccky stuff ad found some old recorrds of there being a gc liek thingy using a commmmmunication device in the lions and i figured out how 2 activate it

G_LION: and were the only 1s in our lions rn and i wanted it 2 start w/ u cuz ur my meme buddy

BU_LION: ya know with u being the smartest paladin, ud think u would know how to spell and care about grammar

G_LION: pfft nah man

BU_LION: WOOOH GC

G_LION activated FLY TO PALADIN MODE

G_LION: oh this is gonna b great

A high pitched shout was heard in the distance

BU_LION: hoLY SHITTTTTT who was that i reALLY HOPE THAT WAS ALLURA

G_LION: i think it was keith...

R_LION logged on

R_LION: What is this circular phone thing?

R_LION: And why did it hit me in the throat?

BU_LION: bhahAHAHAHAH

G_LION: its a little communicator thing 4 a gc i did some digging 2 find

BU_LION: rip keefs throat 2kwhateveryearitis

R_LION: I CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW THANKS!

G_LION: yw brotato

SECONDARY_CONTROL logged on

SECONDARY_CONTROL: Ah Pidge! You appear to have found the communication logs of the lions! I must say I am impressed, I was never able to find it myself.

G_LION: thx coran coran the gorgeous man

SECONDARY_CONTROL: You are very welcome, Pidge!

BU_LION: i think i figured out how 2 change the names!

BU_LION changed unit name to lanceylance

G_LION: howwwwwwww

lanceylance: ./changeunitname

G_LION changed unit name to Pidgey

Pidgey: ah thats better

SECONDARY_COMMAND changed unit name to Coran

R_LION changed unit name to Keith

lanceylance: booorrrriiiinnnggg

Y_LION logged on

Y_LION: Would someone like to explain why a shiny sphere with a gc on it landed in my food

lanceylance: nope.

lanceylance: change ur user ./changeunitname

Y_LION changed unit name to HunkyMan

HunkyMan: Hello

BA_LION logged on

lanceylance: hello shiro

BA_LION: ?

BA_LION: Lance, is that you?

lanceylance: yurp

BA_LION: What is this?

Pidgey: *makes a nmbc reference*

lanceylance: shoo the adults r talking

Pidgey: *hisses and returns to corner*

Coran: Pidge found the old data logs for the lion communication devices! She even figured out how to restart the chat and had the devices fly to you!

BA_LION: That's cool!

BA_LION changed unit name to Shiro

MAIN_CONTROL logged on

MAIN_CONTROL: The mice brought me this communication device. Is this the old paladin channel?

Pidgey: yupadoodle

Pidgey: do ./changeunitname if u want 2 change ur name

MAIN_CONTROL changed unit name to Allura

lanceylance: u all r so bOrInG with ur usernames!

Shiro: This is not a 'for fun' chat, Lance. It is for the good of Voltron.

Pidgey: i actually restarted it 4 the memes

Keith: Of course.

Allura: What is a "Meme," Lance? Pidge?

lanceylance: OH SNAP i have so much to educate u on my dear princess

Keith: Rest in peace Allura

lanceylance: i nnnneeeeddd to make a powerpoint

Allura: In the mean time, I am open to name suggestions.

Shiro: OKAY OKAY but since we have this, shouldn't we also use this for Voltron related stuff?

Pidgey: ok ye thats a good point

lanceylance: I HAVE A USER NAME IDEA 4 U LLURA

Allura: Llura?

lanceylance: ye its ur new nickname

lanceylance changed Allura unit name to FontQueen

FontQueen: What does this mean?

Keith: Okay i'll admit thats a good one

lanceylance: there is a typing style called a font named Allura

HunkyMan: ...It's one of my favorite fonts...

FontQueen: :)

lanceylance: wanna c it?

FontQueen: Yes please!

lanceylance: {Insert Image}

FontQueen: That is a very pretty font

HunkyMan: Wait we can send images here?

lanceylance: yup and the only reason i know that is iwent explorring on this wierd com thing

Keith: Classic.

Shiro: Classic.

Pidgey: clasico

lanceylance: i hate all of u

Pidgey: {Angel emoji}

lanceylance: shut ur QUIZNACK

Keith: I don't think you're using that WORD CORRECTLY.

lanceylance: i came here 2 have a good time and honestly i feel so attacked rn

Pidgey: {Angel emoji}


	2. The Sneeze Chronicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge falls from the ceiling and memes happen.

Keith logged on

Keith: I'M WHEEZING I'M ACTUALLY WHEEZING WRHNAFSLKJDAGNFL

Coran logged on

Coran: What happened, Keith? Why are you wheezing?

Keith: YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

HunkyMan logged on

HunkyMan: It was pretty funny ngl

lanceylance logged on

lanceylance: NO KEITH MY BUDDY MY PAL DONT TELL THEM POR FAVOR MI AMIGO

Pidgey logged on

Pidgey: we

lanceylance: will

Pidgey: blackmail

lanceylance: u

Keith: Oh wow I'm so scared even though I have nothing to lose.

Shiro logged on

Shiro: We were sitting in the lounge chilling, Lance sneezed, and we heard "Bless you" come from the ceiling. Lance says the first thing that comes to his mind and goes "God?" We heard a roar of laughter and suddenly Pidge falls through the ceiling, and lands on Lance. She had apparently been crawling through the vents for some reason.

Pidgey: SHIRO Y

Pidgey: I THOUGHT I WAS UR FAVE

Shiro: Sorry.

FontQueen logged on

FontQueen: lol

FontQueen logged off

HunkyMan: Wow

Pidgey: did allura jsut use lol

Shiro: Just*

Pidgey: get off my case old man ur not off the hook

Shiro: :(

lanceylance: pffffftttt HAHAHAHAHAHA

lanceylance: honestly having this secret spilled was SO worht it 2 c Llura use lol

Shiro: Worth*

lanceylance: quiznack off

Keith: I honestly think my day has been made by watching that unfold.

HunkyMan: Ok same

Coran: What a funny moment! I just watched it over the security cameras!

Pidgey: wait theres cameras

Matt logged on

Matt: sned me the vids SEND ME ALL THE VIDS

Matt: eww my name is boring

Matt changed unit name to MatthanielTM

Pidgey: matt??????????????????????

FontQueen logged on

FontQueen: Oh yes I gave Matt a communicator!

Pidgey: y?????????????????????????

MatthanielTM: shh Katie u <3 me

Pidgey: i heart u? did u mean i hurt u? and legit no1 calls me Katie ever

lanceylance: oHhHhhhhHHHHHH

HunkyMan: Allura can we give Shay a communicator when we visit the Balmera?

FontQueen: Yes of course! Shay is a very nice friend.

lanceylance: yes give a communicator 2 hunks gf

HunkyMan: She's not my girlfriend

lanceylance: suuuurrrreeee

MatthanielTM: so Coran hit me up with that vid

Coran: ...Okay?

Coran: {Insert video file}

Pidgey: CORAN U BETTER SLEEP W/ 1 EYE OPEN

Coran: I will take that into consideration, Pidge. 

Keith: You know, sometimes Pidge scares me.

Pidgey: (ʘ‿ʘ)  
lanceylance: heathen

lanceylance changed channel name to Pidge the Heathen

Pidgey: STOP FIGURING SHIT OUT BEFORE ME ITS UNFAIR

Pidgey: AND HOW DO U EVEN DO IT

Shiro: Pidge, language.

MatthanielTM: u have 2 know that isnt going 2 work

lanceylance: my philosophy is to press all the buttons until smth works

Pidgey: should have expected that

Keith: That explains you first flying the blue lion.

lanceylance: u r correct

HunkyMan: {cue awkward finger guns}

lanceylance: u know me so well bro

HunkyMan: I am your best friend, right bro?

lanceylance: right bro

Shiro: Okay this is just weird.

lanceylance: weird is my middle name

Pidgey: oh i thought it was failure

lanceylance: rude

lanceylance: anyways the command is ./changechannelname

Keith changed channel name to The Sneeze Chronicles

Pidgey logged off

lanceylance: screw u

lanceylance logged off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't tell, this takes place after season four but everyone is still with their original lions? And Keith is still here? Does that make sense? At least Matt is here. This has been cross-posted on Wattpad so go check me out on there! Username is ShawazusGalaxy.


	3. NOT A CHAPTER SOR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note my good hoes

Okay so there are a lot of Group Chat fics with the title that I have, Voltron Legendary Group Chat, so I was thinking of changing the title?

I'm going to put some ideas I had down below, but I would appreciate other ideas!

Voltron: Legendary Memers  
p414d!n5 0f v017r0n  
Space Fuckups  
SpacePowerRangerChat  
Voltron *Jazzhands*  
Voltron: Legendary Shitposters  
Meme Dream Team

Feel free to comment more!


	4. Happy Birthday Hunk!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Hunk's birthday! And the team have some surprises planned for their favorite cinnamon roll!

**FontQueen logged on**

 

FontQueen: Pidge has informed me that it is your birthday today Hunk!

 

**HunkyMan logged on**

 

HunkyMan: Yes it is!

 

FontQueen: Happy Birthday!

 

HunkyMan: Thank you Allura

 

**lanceylance logged on**

 

Lanceylance: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MAN

 

**Coran logged on**

 

**Shiro logged on**

 

Coran: Happy birthday, my boy!

 

Shiro: Happy birthday.

 

**Pidgey logged on**

 

Pidgey: eh hap birth i guess

 

Pidgey: jk we all <3 u even my emotionless soul

 

HunkyMan: Thank you all of you!

 

lanceylance: legit how can some1 hate hunk he is an angel

 

Pidgey: ^^^

 

Shiro: Where is Keith? It’s almost time for breakfast.

 

**Pidgey activated LOUD OBNOXIOUS BEEPING NOISE on unit Keith**

 

lanceylance: PFFT Y IS IT CALLED LOUD OBNOXIOUS BEEPING NOISE JESUS CHRIST MIERDA SANTA QUE ES GENIAL OH DIOS MIO YO ESTOY RODANDO EN LA RISA DEL PISO

 

Shiro: …

 

Shiro: Anyone speak Spanish?

 

Pidgey: my translator says that it says “HOLY FUCK THAT IS GREAT OH MY GOD I AM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING”

 

Shiro: Language, Lance!

 

lanceylance: U CANT SCOLD ME IF ITS IN SPANISH

 

Shiro: *dad groan*

 

Coran: I believe it was called that because my friend designed these communicators, and he was a very strange person. Interesting indeed.

 

**Keith logged on**

 

HunkyMan: Pidge you may want to run

 

Pidgey: addio ill b in the vents

 

Keith: You do realize I can fit in there too, right?

 

Pidgey: fuck

 

Shiro: Language!

 

Pidgey: oh screw off

 

Keith: Why do I hear off key shouting in a language that I understand even less than Altean?

 

HunkyMan: Oh thats Lance singing the happy birthday song in Spanish

 

Keith: Ah.

 

lanceylance: ¡Feliz cumpleaños a ti!

 

lanceylance: ANYWHO

 

lanceylance: I HAVE STUFF PLANNED

 

lanceylance: HUNK DO U REMEMBER THE GAME “SENTENCES” WE PLAYED IN DRAMA CLUB

 

Keith: You two were in drama?

 

lanceylance: yes now shut ur mullet

 

HunkyMan: OMG yeah I do

 

lanceylance: well i wrote a bunch of quotes from all of us from the past month on slips of paper so as a team were all gonna play it

 

FontQueen: What is “Sentences”, Lance?

 

lanceylance: long story short two people do a scene and they pull pieces of paper out of a hat that have sentences or phrases on them and they have 2 incorporate what is written on the paper into the scene

 

lanceylance: hunk and i will do an example but everyone get their spacey butts down 2 the lounge

 

**MatthanielTM logged on**

 

MatthanielTM: AGH y r u all awake

 

MatthanielTM: o and happy birthday Hunk

 

HunkyMan: Thank you Matt

 

HunkyMan: And we are in different space time zones, because apparently that exists

 

MatthanielTM: stupid rebel base being far away

 

MatthanielTM: ahhhhhh gotta go bye

 

**MatthanielTM logged off**

 

**Pidgey created new channel**

 

**Pidgey changed channel name to Hunky’s Surprise woot woot**

 

**Units activated: Keith, lanceylance, FontQueen, Coran, Shiro, SPARE**

 

**Pidgey changed unit SPARE name to SpecialGuest**

 

Pidgey: ok so late last night Lance and i went 2 the Balmera while u were sleeping and picked up Shay as a surprise

 

SpecialGuest: Hello, paladins!

 

FontQueen: Hi Shay!

 

lanceylance: and basically the plan is that during our example round one of the papers is going to say “and by the way Shay is here” and Shay will walk into the room

 

Coran: This sounds like a fantastic plan!

 

Shiro: Well let’s put it into action I guess?

 

“Okay, so for our example, we need someone to give us a scene for us to do. Like we are somewhere, or doing something.” Lance stated, turning to the rest of the group that were sitting on the couches.

“At the space mall!” Coran shouted and the group agreed.

“Hunk let’s each choose two slips of paper, I pre-loaded the bowl with four papers for this round, so let’s do this!” Lance stuck his hand in the hat and made sure to take ones that didn’t have the one about Shay being here. “Let’s start!”

“Okay Lance, we gotta get the stuff Allura said to get, and get out. What was the advice Coran gave to us?” Hunk turned to Lance.

The Cuban boy looked at his first sentence. “I’m pretty sure it was “Shiro’s eyeliner is my life-goal.” Whatever that means.” The group chilling on the couches laughed loudly, and the two boys continued on with the scene.

“The list here says we need patches for the holes in the food goo tubes, a new pack of reflectors for the wormholer, space mice food,” Hunk took out a paper, “and lastly, “We should totally make matching shirts that say ‘Mothman is the real space daddy,’ don’t ya think?” Strange request, but I can see why it’s a necessity.” Pidge fell on the floor with laughter, Keith shortly following, because that had been a conversation between them. “We should split up and get the stuff and meet back here, okay?” Lance nodded and they walked away from each other, and quickly came back together to give the effect of a time skip.

“I got the patches and reflectors. You wouldn’t believe what the cashier said to me. He said “Boarding the lions is basically vore.” Oh jesús jodido cristo.” Lance swore under his breath in his native language after saying what the card said. Coran asked Shiro what vore was and said black paladin narrowly dodged the question, not in the mood to explain vore to an alien.

Hunk laughed a bit as well before talking, “Yeah, I got the mice food and the t-shirt supplies. There was a weird sign in one of the shops that said, “Oh Shay’s here by the way!” Wait, what?” Hunk gasped after reading the paper, and looked up to see his friend and crush enter the room. But as a former drama kid, he knew he had to quickly finish the scene before running to hug her. “Well we should get back to the castle now!” He ended the scene without any hesitation and ran to hug the Balmeran. “Shay! Hi! Oh my god I can’t believe you’re here! How?”

“Happy birthday Hunk! And Lance and Pidge made all the arrangements and picked me up late last night when you were sleeping. And I have a gift for you, as I read that humans give gifts to someone on their day of birth. Here!” The girl took a small crystal out of her pocket and handed it to him. It looked like any normal Balmera crystal, but it was yellow instead of blue. “Different colored crystals are rare but not unnatural. They aren’t used as energy sources as much as the normal blue crystals are, and are mostly used for decoration or gift purposes. I hope you like it! I saw how it was yellow and immediately thought of you.”

The yellow paladin hugged the Balmeran and thanked her for the crystal. He made a mental note to attach it to a string like a necklace. He also hugged and thanked Pidge and Lance for making all of this happen. The group went back to playing Sentences after explaining it to Shay, and had many more laughs. They had cake made by Lance and Coran (using one of Hunk’s recipes), and let’s just say later into the celebration, Hunk worked up the courage to ask Shay to be his girlfriend.

She said yes, naturally.

“This has been an amazing birthday. Thank you, all of you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok we all love Hunk, no arguments.
> 
> I really enjoy writing Shay for some reason? Maybe it's because of her really exact and precise language? I don't know.
> 
> Shout out to the Discord, and how we always end up talking about vore. (That part was mentioned FOR THEM)
> 
> I also included Lance speaking a bit of Spanish because he probably can, and Pidge says like, one word in Italian.  
> The translations were from google translate so I'm sorry if I got shit wrong.
> 
> Goodnight and Happy 18th Birthday our angel, Hunk.


	5. A/N: Discord Server

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANNOUNCEMENT

My friend SimplyEssa and I created a Discord server for our readers, so that we can talk to you all! So if you'd like to join, and you have Discord, click on the link below! I can't wait to meet y'all!

 

[Thy Server](https://discord.gg/DnbUWsA)


	6. puT ON YOUR SUNDAY CLOTHES THERE'S LOTS OF WORLD OUT THERE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out there... There's a world outside of Yonkers...

**Lanceylance logged on**

Lanceylance: yknow this whole space thing has got me rly realizing theres a world outside of Yonkers

**Keith logged on**

Keith: ?

Lanceylance: excuse

**HunkyMan logged on**

HunkyMan: LISTEN BARNABY!!!!

Keith: My name isn't Barnaby?

Lanceylance: oh my god

HunkyMan: This is an issue

Lanceylance: we need to have an intervention, my dear mullet haired slightly scary alien dude

Keith: I'm still lost… Did you live in a place named Yonkers? With someone named Barnaby?

Lanceylance: no Keith, I am not Cornelius Hackl

Keith: ?

**Shiro logged on**

Shiro: Keith it's from a movie. Hello, Dolly I think it is.

Lanceylance: OUR LORD AND SAVIOR SPACE DAD IS HERE

HunkyMan: Ok but real talk now we need to show Keith hello dolly but we're kinda in space

Lanceylance: shit u rite

**Pidgeon logged on**

Pidgeon: i can find a way

Pidgeon: prob

Pidgeon: anyways the real real discourse who would b who in hello dolly

Lanceylance: llura is dolly or no deal

HunkyMan: Accepted

**FontQueen logged on**

FontQueen: You called?

HunkyMan: idk Lance man I'm pinning u as Cornelius

Lanceylance: either u Pidge or Keith is barnaboi

Pidgeon: who is my whiney queen Ermengarde

HunkyMan: Shiro is Horace end of story

Shiro: So Allura wants to marry me for my money. Great.

Pidgeon: is Rudy Coran?

Lanceylance: no fuckin doubt

Shiro: Okay I'm not super familiar with this movie but would it be correct to say Hunk: Barnaby, Keith: Irene, and Pidge: Minnie?

HunkyMan: Holy crap

Pidgeon: this is a lot to take in

Lanceylance: so Keith is betrothed to Shiro but ends up falling in love with me while Shiro falls in love with Allura and Pidge and Hunk fall in love

Keith: Excuse me what the fuck.

**Shiro is messaging Keith**

Shiro: ;)

Keith: I want you to burn in hell

**PALADIN CHANNEL**

Pidgeon: ok but y are hunk and I in love

Shiro: Change the plot so that you're just besties?

HunkyMan: point

**Pidgeon created new channel**

**Units activated: Pidgeon, Shiro, HunkyMan**

Pidgeon: and just watch as klance gets over their obviousness shit and fall in love

HunkyMan: I'm not the only one who knew

Shiro: Same.

Pidgeon: so they both like each other

HunkyMan: Yes

Pidgeon: _fantastic_

**PALADIN CHANNEL**

Pidgeon: instead of being afraid of Men im afraid of People in General

HunkyMan: Guess what

HunkyMan: IT'S THE WHALE

_TWO VARGA LATER_

**MatthanielTM logged on**

MatthanielTM: oh come on I sleep like a normal person for once and miss out on hello dolly discourse

MatthanielTM: I'm Ernestina

**Pidgeon logged on**

Pidgeon: correct

Pidgeon: OK BUT WHO IS MY WHINEY QUEEN ERMENGARDE

MatthanielTM: giggly pink Galra chick

Pidgeon: point

Pidgeon: and Ambrose?

MatthanielTM: blue chick cuz they obv got the hots for each other

Pidgeon: thx dear brother of mine

MatthanielTM: np dear sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I love hello dolly ok  
> Join my discord server with my friend SimplyEssa, the link is in the last chapter yo.

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to comment and leave Kudos! Cross-posted on Wattpad.


End file.
